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Re: short jokes

Posted by Mandy on 9/03/07
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    On 9/03/07, Leadamymene wrote:
    > The Perfect Son.
    > A: I have the perfect son.
    > B: Does he smoke?
    > A: No, he doesn't.
    > B: Does he drink whiskey?
    > A: No, he doesn't.
    > B: Does he ever come home late?
    > A: No, he doesn't.
    > B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is
    he?
    > A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
    >
    > Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
    > Boy: What are the two things?
    > Girl: Your feet.
    > Submitted by Bob Waldman
    >
    > A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse
    jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was
    that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's
    important to learn a second language."
    > Submitted by BH LEE
    >
    > My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named
    Smith.
    > So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
    > (Try this one with your students the next time you are
    teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)
    >
    > The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
    > The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
    > The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
    > I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.
    > Submitted by: Adriana Luchetti
    >
    > A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I
    touch, it hurts."
    > The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
    > The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.
    If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it
    really, really hurts."
    > The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've
    broken your finger!"
    > Submitted by Sean McLoughlin
    >
    > Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink
    tea.
    > Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
    > Submitted by: Irene Pellegrini
    >
    > Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever
    listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have
    to say.
    > Doctor: Next please!
    > Submitted by Marco Morales, Mexico
    >
    >
    > Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
    > The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
    >
    > One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided
    to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
    >
    > "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the
    teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie
    was."
    >
    > The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
    >
    >
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH
    OHOHOHARHARHOHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHAWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWHUHUHUHUHUHUH
    UHUH

    >
    >