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Re: goffin Cockatoos

Posted by Sonoma on 8/15/06
(12) Comments

    On 8/13/06, Fran wrote:
    > It sounds like your baby might be having some
    weaning "regression".

    Oh horse crap, Fran. "Weaning regression" sounds like some
    Freudian BS.

    Yes, folks, the famous bird psychologist Dr. Fran has linked
    the natural behavior of all Cockatoos to the invented term of
    weaning regression. This is presumably where a bird returns to
    the time when it was being weaned and taught to feed itself.
    If allowed to go unchecked the bird might simply return to the
    shape of an egg and then it is lost forever until extensive
    bird psychotherapy can convince it to re-hatch itself and
    awaken in the bright sunlight of unrepressed mental health.

    To avoid the heartache of weaning regression (those of us in
    the bird mental health field like to refer to it as WRY or
    Weaning Regression Yesireebob)it is recommended to administer
    massive doses of Prozac or contact Dr. Fran for her recipe on
    homemade seritonin re-uptake inhibitors. (Sometimes called
    Birdie Bread).

    Early detection of WRY is advisable for your bird. The
    medication must be administered immediately. as the only
    recourse is to have the egg-shaped bird on a examination couch
    and we all know birds don't like leather couches even when
    shaped like birds and not eggs (not to mention the patient
    tends to roll off onto the floor and that causes further
    traumatic symptoms).

    Seriously, if a human child of five throws a tantrum in the
    middle of Walmart, would the solution be to give the child a
    baby bottle and coddle it through a repeat infancy?

    Can anybody say, "spoiling an already needy bird?" That is
    exactly how you can turn a Cockatoo into a plucker. Well
    unless you want to sit in a chair beside the cage for the rest
    of the bird's life and hand feed it.

    Please contact me for links to websites on Chicken Hypnosis an
    alternative regimen for WRY.