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Post: short jokes

Posted by Leadamymene on 9/03/07

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    The Perfect Son.
    A: I have the perfect son.
    B: Does he smoke?
    A: No, he doesn't.
    B: Does he drink whiskey?
    A: No, he doesn't.
    B: Does he ever come home late?
    A: No, he doesn't.
    B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
    A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

    Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
    Boy: What are the two things?
    Girl: Your feet.
    Submitted by Bob Waldman

    A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
    Submitted by BH LEE

    My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
    So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
    (Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)

    The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
    The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
    The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
    I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.
    Submitted by: Adriana Luchetti

    A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
    The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
    The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
    The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
    Submitted by Sean McLoughlin

    Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
    Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
    Submitted by: Irene Pellegrini

    Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
    Doctor: Next please!
    Submitted by Marco Morales, Mexico

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
    The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

    One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

    "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

    The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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short jokes

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  • short jokes, 9/03/07, by Leadamymene.